Tuesday, March 25, 2008

The little things that break my heart...

Today is a normal day.
Nothing different from yesterday... just today. We had dinner, did homework and got ready for bed. Same thing.
I go into my daughter's room to kiss her, pray with her and love her up a little. I look down at her and her chin is quivering...
I say, "sweets, what's wrong?"
She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath as a tear rolls down her face and says...
"I miss my dad."
I kiss her forehead.
I tell her, "I'm sorry honey. I know you miss him. I miss him too. Daddy loves you very much."
"I know, mama."
Oh my darling girl...
These are the moments that break my heart... the moments where I am left shaking my head wondering how on earth he could be away from her - miss out on the bedtime kisses, the hugs, the tickle fights. Wondering how he could go even a day without hearing her 6 year old voice say "I love you daddy!"
I know I couldn't. Not even for a day.

I expected my heart to break... to keep breaking.
I hate that hers is.

"God, I don't want to hate the man who breaks my daughter's heart. Please... I don't need to understand why, I don't even need him to change, I just need to know that YOU hold her... and that you will love her with your Father's heart. And be with the man who is still a part of our family. Watch over him. Guard his heart. Guide his mind. If you will, bring him home. We love him."

2 comments:

Amy said...

I have no words. Only tears. And prayers.

Roxanne said...

I discovered that I could not protect my children from all the pain that comes with seperation. There were many times when I wondered if their father noticed the pain the children were experiencing in the midst of his new found freedom. God sees every tear. He is with you and your children.