there are no words...

Psalm 142

1 I cry out to the Lord;
I plead for the Lord’s mercy.
2 I pour out my complaints before him
and tell him all my troubles.
3 When I am overwhelmed,
you alone know the way I should turn.
Wherever I go,
my enemies have set traps for me.
4 I look for someone to come and help me,
but no one gives me a passing thought!
No one will help me;
no one cares a bit what happens to me.
5 Then I pray to you, O Lord.
I say, “You are my place of refuge.
You are all I really want in life.
6 Hear my cry,
for I am very low.
Rescue me from my persecutors,
for they are too strong for me.
7 Bring me out of prison
so I can thank you.
The godly will crowd around me,
for you are good to me.”

Pass me not...

This is a song by Fernando Ortega... it has been my cry today.

"Pass me not, oh gentle Saviour,
hear my humble cry...
while on others Thou art smiling,
do not pass me by.

Let me at a throne of mercy
find a sweet relief,
kneeling there in deep contrition
help my unbelief.

Saviour, Saviour
hear my humble cry
while on others Thou art calling,
do not pass me by."

I may not know, I may not understand but I believe and hope for Your best in my life and in the lives of my children.

beast #2

This beast is a lie. I get that it's a lie and yet, somehow I allow this lie to sit in my house... look me in the face and I feel inferior. This lie has the audacity to look me in the face? I, who know in my head who I belong to, allow this lie to cripple me and make me feel as though I don't belong... anywhere. This beast is so much bigger than laundry. This beast is one that makes me feel shame for things I have no control over... makes me believe that there are things I could have done, should have done differently. Makes me believe everyone is looking at me and judging me - picking me apart and pointing out all my faults behind my back. But there's something this beast of a lie doesn't know. Or maybe it does but it thinks I'm too intimidated, too spineless or weak to point it out.
This is what I know:
1 - "you may not know Me, but I know everything about you..." Psalm 139:1
2 - "I chose you when I planned creation..." Ephesians 1:11-12
3 - "My plan for your future has always been filled with hope... " Jeremiah 29:11
4 - "My thoughts towards you are as countless as the sand on the seashore..." Psalm 139:17-18
5 - "and I rejoice over you with singing..." Zephaniah 3:17
6 - "for you are My treasured possession..." Exodus 19:5
NO lie is bigger than that... and this tiny speck of the great truth in the letters from my Love is what I know to be truth. As for the posties? They'll go everywhere... on my bedside table, my bathroom mirror, my computer screen, my fridge, my steering wheel, my television. I will not allow this lie, this falsehood to destroy the hope I cling to. I will not allow this insignificant lie to destroy me, to deter me from my focus - I am a CHILD OF GOD. I belong... I was meant to be and my life has a purpose. "..for I am your greatest encourager..." (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17) "I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles..." (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) "When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you..." (Psalm 34:18)
I'm tired of feeling insignificant... alone... ashamed. I have made mistakes, believe me, but this is just part of my story. This is just part of what makes me what He wants... what brings me to Him and allows me to be broken enough for Him to heal and restore.

Take that, lie.

21 days, huh?

My beast lives in the basement. He's a sneaky beast... the kind that makes you think you're in control but the minute your back is turned... WAPOW! I speak of my laundry room. I get it under control and I think "I don't need to do a load today!" So I leave it... three days later I have to use a tracking device to find the machines. How does this happen? Am I the only one this happens to? Laundry is my beast. Now, I will be the first to admit that there are SO many more beasts I could tackle but I'll be honest with you. I'm pretty spent in the "battle of the beast" department. I can only do so much... I'm only one woman and I can't be expected to enter every battle presented to me, but this is my 21 day reformation. This is the habit I want to confront right now. So, for the next 21 days (check out Cheryl's blog at 21dayreformation.blogspot.com) I am going to commit to doing one load a day. This will defeat that beast. This will find my machines! I'm starting my 21 day cycle of change a little later than the other ladies, but I'm with you! It may seem like a small, insignificant task to you, Martha, but in all fairness, he's in my basement, not yours!

Isaiah 33:2

O LORD, be gracious to me (us);
I (we) long for you.
Be my (our) strength every morning,
my (our) salvation in time of distress.