Single parenting at it's best is tough. It's not easy being the only adult in the house... not having another person to support, bounce ideas off of, relax with, give instruction. As a mom, my job is never done. There is always another question to be answered, always guidance to be given, always support, unconditional love and encouragement. I want my children to know that they are good enough - just.as.they.are.
Single parenting at it's worst? Let me offer an example.
My 10 year old daughter comes into my room this morning. "Mom? Does my hair look greasy?"
She has brushed it, pulled it back into a low pony and has a look in her eyes that says, "please say no".
I said, "not at all... why sweets?"
She pauses... "dad said I have really greasy hair and said I have to shower before I come to his house".
my.heart.stops.
Are you KIDDING me? My fragile, beautiful, insecure, delightful TEN YEAR OLD daughter is being told by the man who is supposed to love her without compromise or condition, that her appearance isn't adequate and she needs to do something about it.
I look at her and tell her that she looks just gorgeous and she says "okay" in a voice that says "I don't believe you, but thanks for the effort" and she goes about her routine.
I'm left sitting here, fuming and indignant at the man who has the NERVE to make my daughter feel like she's less than perfect (based on her APPEARANCE) and my "mama bear" thoughts are running rampant. I don't know the answer. I don't know how to restore my daughter's heart but to beg the God of the Universe to intervene and show her Love that covers all, renews all and unabashedly pours out on her just.as.she.is. Oh, and while you're at it, Lord? Remind me. I know her hurt and have felt that inadequacy myself and still need a nudge now and then to lift my eyes to the Maker of the mountains, from whom my help comes.
Lord, hear my prayer... wrap my daughter's heart in Your hands and cover her in Your cloak. Allow Your truth to permeate her wounded heart and give her the strength to look to You for her approval, and not toward empty, earthly approval. Give me strength to do the same... and grant me patience and wisdom when it comes to her father. I cannot function in my own strength on this one. Speak to his heart - remind him of his job as a father... encourage him to realize, before it's too late, that he is to show her Your love. Your all consuming, unconditional, freely given, abundant love. Guide me as a parent - I want my children to be whole, happy, fulfilled and free.
In Your great name...
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