My kids are SO hyper - going to see Nana and Papa tomorrow, so they were granted a 10:00 pm bedtime!
Isabella: Michael, I'm going to pack our things, so let me know what you want to wear!
Michael: I'm taking my eagle shirt and these pants...
Isabella: Oh, that shirt looks SO good on you! Aren't you excited??
Michael: I can't wait!! And Isabella, we'll get to watch a movie in the car and Papa will meet us at the hotel and we'll see Nana and get to hug her!
Isabella: I love them!
Michael: and then we'll see Auntie Beth and Uncle Chip and Andrea and Timothy... I think Timmy likes me best, but that's just because I'm a boy. I'm sure he likes you, too!
Isabella: Oh, I know he loves me... Andrea is my BEST cousin!
See you tomorrow, beautiful family! We (clearly!) can't wait!!!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
Thanksgiving
While the tone of my blogs has been rather morose of late, I'd like to take this opportunity to do a little reflection on the things I'm ever so grateful for....
I am a woman blessed. God saw fit to place me in a family, so rich in heritage; so steeped in His love... blessed me with a sister who ferociously loves and protects me; parents who show discipline, integrity, honor, respect and love. My extended family is a further blessing of rich characters who challenge me, encourage me, love me, and show me, in their own ways, just how remarkable God created them to be.
God is good.
God blessed me in marriage - to a man I didn't fully appreciate until he was gone. A man in whom I saw the potential to be such an instrument of God... and the father to my children.
Yes... children. My children are the blessings I have longed for... for as long as I can remember. They are my angels... gifts from God, who daily teach me things He wants me to learn. They open my eyes to see things I wouldn't be able to see on my own. They drive me to be better; to be more disciplined, more focused... they are my purpose and my desire is to be a mother that will show them God.
God is SO good.
The branches of my family tree reach to encompass the friends in my life. From a best friend who has known me through my teen years and continues to love me and enrich my life; a dear, sister-friend... one who has stood beside me, encouraged me, held me up, supported me, and without words, knows my heart... and a kindred spirit. A lovely friend I don't see as often as I'd like, but who is Diana to my Anne... the lovely, graceful, devoted, dark-haired beauty I look up to and admire.
So many things I am beyond thankful for. Thankful doesn't seem like enough.
Grateful.
Favored.
Satisfied.
"I thank my God every time I remember you."
Phil 1:3
I am a woman blessed. God saw fit to place me in a family, so rich in heritage; so steeped in His love... blessed me with a sister who ferociously loves and protects me; parents who show discipline, integrity, honor, respect and love. My extended family is a further blessing of rich characters who challenge me, encourage me, love me, and show me, in their own ways, just how remarkable God created them to be.
God is good.
God blessed me in marriage - to a man I didn't fully appreciate until he was gone. A man in whom I saw the potential to be such an instrument of God... and the father to my children.
Yes... children. My children are the blessings I have longed for... for as long as I can remember. They are my angels... gifts from God, who daily teach me things He wants me to learn. They open my eyes to see things I wouldn't be able to see on my own. They drive me to be better; to be more disciplined, more focused... they are my purpose and my desire is to be a mother that will show them God.
God is SO good.
The branches of my family tree reach to encompass the friends in my life. From a best friend who has known me through my teen years and continues to love me and enrich my life; a dear, sister-friend... one who has stood beside me, encouraged me, held me up, supported me, and without words, knows my heart... and a kindred spirit. A lovely friend I don't see as often as I'd like, but who is Diana to my Anne... the lovely, graceful, devoted, dark-haired beauty I look up to and admire.
So many things I am beyond thankful for. Thankful doesn't seem like enough.
Grateful.
Favored.
Satisfied.
"I thank my God every time I remember you."
Phil 1:3
Thursday, October 2, 2008
a sleepless night...
1:57am.
Why am I awake, you ask?
So many reasons... but one very significant and heartbreaking one.
Today is October 3rd. 15 years to the day of my first date with the man I would marry.
We went to Kelseys in Belleville.
I had chicken parmigiana... he had steak. Medium. Fries. Coke.
I still have the sugar packet he used in his coffee after dinner.
This doesn't make today heartbreaking....
that I am seeing my husband today at 2pm, in a court room; he with his lawyer and I with mine.... that is heartbreaking.
How does it come to this?
15 very short years... yet full... lovely, memorable, exciting, sad, difficult, anxious, wonderful years.
But over.
Why?
How?
How do you move forward from this? How do you look at your life and recognize anything? Nothing is familiar. Nothing is as it was or as it should be.
You find yourself on the phone with the man you married... the man you don't recognize any more. You hear him saying "lets just end this... it's dragged on long enough. We should settle things and just move on", and you agree in silence, yet somehow, in the deepest part of you, you're screaming... can't you hear me? I STILL LOVE YOU! It doesn't have to be like this! Our children deserve more than this!
Silence.
Words I can't possibly say. Words I can't bring myself to utter... they wouldn't make a difference anyway.
God,
grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
(Serenity: The quality or state of being serene; clearness and calmness; quietness; stillness; peace.)
the courage to change the things I can,
(Courage: That quality of mind which enables one to encounter danger and difficulties with firmness, or without fear, or fainting of heart; valor; boldness; resolution.)
and the WISDOM to know the difference.
(Wisdom: The quality of being wise; knowledge, and the capacity to make due use of it; knowledge of the best ends and the best means; discernment and judgment; discretion; sagacity; skill; dexterity.)
Why am I awake, you ask?
So many reasons... but one very significant and heartbreaking one.
Today is October 3rd. 15 years to the day of my first date with the man I would marry.
We went to Kelseys in Belleville.
I had chicken parmigiana... he had steak. Medium. Fries. Coke.
I still have the sugar packet he used in his coffee after dinner.
This doesn't make today heartbreaking....
that I am seeing my husband today at 2pm, in a court room; he with his lawyer and I with mine.... that is heartbreaking.
How does it come to this?
15 very short years... yet full... lovely, memorable, exciting, sad, difficult, anxious, wonderful years.
But over.
Why?
How?
How do you move forward from this? How do you look at your life and recognize anything? Nothing is familiar. Nothing is as it was or as it should be.
You find yourself on the phone with the man you married... the man you don't recognize any more. You hear him saying "lets just end this... it's dragged on long enough. We should settle things and just move on", and you agree in silence, yet somehow, in the deepest part of you, you're screaming... can't you hear me? I STILL LOVE YOU! It doesn't have to be like this! Our children deserve more than this!
Silence.
Words I can't possibly say. Words I can't bring myself to utter... they wouldn't make a difference anyway.
God,
grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
(Serenity: The quality or state of being serene; clearness and calmness; quietness; stillness; peace.)
the courage to change the things I can,
(Courage: That quality of mind which enables one to encounter danger and difficulties with firmness, or without fear, or fainting of heart; valor; boldness; resolution.)
and the WISDOM to know the difference.
(Wisdom: The quality of being wise; knowledge, and the capacity to make due use of it; knowledge of the best ends and the best means; discernment and judgment; discretion; sagacity; skill; dexterity.)
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