Praise, praise, PRAISE!

Two posts in one day! I know, it seems odd but I couldn't go the day without sharing my most excellent praise report!

Our beloved, ferocious, protective dog loves to go in the car. He loves the wind in his face, the excitement of the ride - I do drive a pretty mean car! - and the time spent with me. I have taken my dog on many a car ride and have left him in the car unattended for well over 1/2 an hour, a time or two. I will speak of a particular time on April 7th when my friend begged me to let the dog come for a ride to the store to buy a broom. I didn't really want to take him but she insisted, so off we went to Zehrs. We parked, got out, locked the door and started to walk in when Gromit decides he's going to cry... he whines and cries and I laughed because he's never pulled that stunt before. We keep on, knowing we'll only be a few moments. After all, we're just here for a broom! Bought the broom, came back out and not 5 minutes had passed. We all piled in the car and drove on home, happy dog in the back.
The next day while I was searching the car for laundry - doesn't everyone have laundry in their car??? - I noticed something that made me sick. My dog must've been VERY distressed... he must've been VERY angry... he must've had a pair of scissors in the back seat!!! He had chewed through TWO of the shoulder straps in the back seat!!!
I screamed.
I screamed a lot.
I am sure all the dog heard was "BLAH! BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH! BLAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Fast forward to yesterday. I am finally calling the dealer to find out how much it's going to cost to replace the strap. I'm assuming it can't cost more than $100, can it? I can't imagine.
I get John on the phone.
John is telling me I can't replace just the straps.
John says I have to replace the entire mechanism.
John is telling me it's going to cost $387 EACH.
John says that doesn't include labor!
OH LORD... (literally...) This knocks the wind out of my sails! I don't have the money in my emergency fund for this! I've already used some of my emergency money to buy drywall and a shower stall! I can't afford this!
I call the 4 wreckers John tells me to try and no one has anything to tell me. One man says they crush the car with the back seatbelt mechanism's in them because they don't sell SMALL PARTS.
I am sitting on my couch. I think to myself, "what if I call my insurance broker? I am sure they won't cover it, but if I don't ask, I'll never know."
So I pick up my phone and call Terry. She laughs when she hears what my *%&&$^# dog has done and says she hasn't heard of anyone putting through a claim like mine but she'll call the company and see what they say. She's going to call me back.
I hang up and put my head in my hands.
"Lord, I can't afford this. I can't deal with this. You're going to have to deal with this. Please, Lord... deal with this for me. I can't do this on my own. Please take care of this."
Terry calls back.
She says, "they're going to cover the charges."
I feel like screaming!
So, this means I'll have to pay the $500 deductible, right? ($500 is better than $900!)
She says, "no, it's not a collision so you'll be taking this out of your comprehensible. You'll only have to pay $100 after the work is complete."

GOD IS AMAZING! I am SO grateful to my God for taking over in this situation and for revealing to me that He IS there, and He IS working in my life. Praise, praise, PRAISE!

Matthew 7:7-11
"Don't bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This isn't a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we're in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? If he asks for fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? As bad as you are, you wouldn't think of such a thing. You're at least decent to your own children. So don't you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better?

Mr. Grounded!

I was making dinner last night and Isabella was helping me unload the dishwasher and set the table. Michael was in his room doing his reading (he has to read for 1/2 an hour every night in English) and sulking because he wasn't allowed to see his friend next door... he was grounded Tuesday night for lying.

So, I'm making dinner and Isabella and I are having a lovely mama/daughter chat ("I love lipgloss, mama, don't you? I think it makes your lips look SO fluffy!", "I agree, Isabella... that glitter on your lips is SO beautiful!") and as I'm finishing up with dinner, I call up for Michael to come down.

Nothing.

"Michael, it's dinnertime! Please wash up and come down!"

Nothing.

"MICHAEL! Did you hear me? Come for dinner!"

Nothing.

Isabella looks at me and says, "I'll get him, mama." So I say okay and up she goes.

This is what I hear from the landing upstairs... "Get downstairs, Mr. Grounded! it's dinnertime and mama has been calling you!!!"

I can hardly contain myself, I'm laughing SO hard. Isabella comes back down with this look of utter satisfaction and with one hand on her hip, she poses in this very take-charge sort of way and says, "well, I took care of that!"

I'm still laughing!

Oceans will part...

I just had to share this song - it has been my dwelling place today... I hope you love the lyrics and that they speak to you as they have to me.

Oceans will part
(Hillsongs Live: Mighty to Save)

If my heart has grown cold, there Your love will unfold
as You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
when I'm blind to my way, there Your spirit will pray
as You open my eyes to the work of Your hand...

Oceans will part, Nations come
at the whisper of Your call
Hope will rise, glory shown,
in my life Your will be done.

Present suffering may pass, Lord Your mercy will last
as you open my eyes to the work of your hand
and my heart will find praise, I delight in Your way
as you open my eyes to the work of Your hand...

Jesus, open my eyes to the work of Your hand...
Oceans will part, Nations come at the whisper of Your call...
HOPE WILL RISE, GLORY SHINE,
in my life Your will be done...

Oh that this would be my hearts cry... I feel so many different emotions these days and while I feel pain and guilt and shame, I feel HOPE... I pray for hope and I believe my Lord has a plan and a purpose for my life and for the life of "him". God, touch his heart. Soften his heart to acknowledge You and Your call in his life. Oh the man he could be if he could only trust you... oh the wife I could be if I could only trust You.
Oh Lord... forgive me...
Whatever the outcome... whatever the journey, I look to You to sustain me...


Isaiah 40:27-31 (the message)
Why would you ever complain, O Jacob(O Joy),
or, whine, Israel (Joy), saying,
"God has lost track of me.
He doesn't care what happens to me"?
Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?
God doesn't come and go. God lasts.
He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don't get tired,
they walk and don't lag behind.

from God...

This is a song (I think) that God gave me this weekend as I wept.

3 am..
I awake to hear her tears, another bad dream
I call out, "come here love, and let me hold you,"
I wrap my arms around her
Swaying slow, I draw in and kiss her face
and wipe away the tears,

"Love,
I will never leave, you are in my heart
I loved you long before I knew you
You belong - you were meant to be
and you will never ever be alone."

3 am..
I'm awake, alone in tears
another sleepless night
I cry out, "Lord I need to feel You now,
come wrap Your arms around me.."
Swaying slow, He draws close to kiss my face
and wipe away my tears,

"Love,
I will never leave, you are in My heart
I knew your name from the beginning of time,
you belong - you were meant to be
and you will never ever be alone."

I just think it's so incredible that my name has been on the hearts of my friends here. Clearly it's been on my heart and really believe God wants to reveal more to me and I pray I open my heart to Him and let Him guide me.

Psalm 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts...

Psalm 143:4-12 - a desperate cry...

4 I am losing all hope;
I am paralyzed with fear.
5 I remember the days of old.
I ponder all your great works
and think about what you have done.
6 I lift my hands to you in prayer.
I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain.

7 Come quickly, Lord, and answer me,
for my depression deepens.
Don’t turn away from me,
or I will die.
8 Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning,
for I am trusting you.
Show me where to walk,
for I give myself to you.
9 Rescue me from my enemies, Lord;
I run to you to hide me.
10 Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God.
May your gracious Spirit lead me forward
on a firm footing.
11 For the glory of your name, O Lord, preserve my life.
Because of your faithfulness, bring me out of this distress.
12 In your unfailing love, silence all my enemies
and destroy all my foes,
for I am your servant.

Today I want to feel... I want to not be numb... I want to KNOW His presence is here and that I'm not abandoned. I feel surrounded in darkness and I'm treading water but I'm tired..... so tired. God, please....

"Holy, You are still Holy even when the darkness surrounds my life,
Sovereign, You are still sovereign even when confusion has blinded my eyes,
Lord I don't deserve Your kind affection,
my unbelief has kept me from Your touch,
I want my life to be a true reflection of Your love,
And so I come into Your chambers and I dance at Your feet, Lord
You are my Saviour and I'm at Your mercy
All that has been in my life up to now
belongs to You, for You are still holy."

Rita Springer

thankful...

My children are the "joy" of my life! I am SO thankful that God chose me to raise these energetic, adorable kids. Michael the lionheart... he is so strong and silent. He's a warrior and a shepherd. He has such kindness in his heart, it brings me to tears. He is loving and considerate and all boy! I can't imagine a life without my son. Isabella the princess... doesn't care who's looking, she'll spin and dance and curtsy her way through her life. She is a blessing and reminds me of how it felt to be a little girl... so full of dreams and hopes and knowing how precious it felt to be a girl. Isabella takes care of everyone... she brings me water in the morning so I can take my meds... she feeds the animals without being asked... she is always ready to stand on the stool and do my dishes for me. Her heart is tender and I pray she gathers strength from God for the journey ahead. I pray they both grow to lean on God and trust His protection and purpose for their lives. I pray I have the strength to continue being a mom they can look up to, a mom they can come to... a mom that relies on her God to carry her through the toughest times, and praises her way through the good and the bad.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (The Message)

6-9 Write these commandments that I've given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates.

God, thank you for the blessing of my children. Let me always trust in the knowledge that You are in control and that You will work all things out to the glory of Your name.


"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."

the answers:

1. False - Amy and I met in grade 10... age 15... we've been best friends ever since!
2. False - I was born in Alton, Illinois - 4 hours south of Chicago
3. False - I really can't stand ice cream! Only sherberts...
4. False - my favorite color is green... any shade!
5. True - I am 5'8"
6. True - I play violin... since age 7
7. False - I'm a beach baby... Amy knows it!
8. True - I do walk and talk in my sleep!
9. True - I was adopted in Chicago while my parents were working for a mission organization.
10. True - I have, in fact, watched the Sound of Music 154 times. I've also watched Anne of Green Gables 87 times!

Hopefully you all know me a little better now! I'm impressed though!

a little about me...

Okay... since most of you don't know me very well, I thought I'd play Roxanne's game and give you a few questions about moi!

True or False?
1. I have been best friend's with Amy since grade 3
2. I was born in Toronto
3. I LOVE ice cream
4. My favorite color is orange
5. I am 5'8"
6. I play the violin
7. I prefer downhill skiing to laying on a beach
8. I walk and talk in my sleep
9. I was adopted
10. I have watched the Sound of Music over 150 times

Good luck!
(Amy, you're not allowed to play! You know me too well!)

Keep moving forward...

I took my kids to see the movie "Meet the Robinson's" on Monday night and I was pleasantly surprised at how great it was. It was about a little boy who invented things and lived in an orphanage. Without giving too much away, he invents something to help him find the memory of his mother. He is brought to the future, only to find out his future might be in danger and realizes he needs to make some different choices in the present so his future holds all it's meant to. He's given a piece of advice from someone in the future who says, "keep moving forward". He tends to get discouraged by the inventions that don't work and he gets frustrated, but this advice helps him to realize that despite his mistakes, his future can hold all he dreams of and more if he just "keeps moving forward."
The next morning, my daughter wakes up rather sullen. She's weepy when I say she has to get dressed and even more weepy when I say she can't wear a dress. I (thinking that this is yet another "princess" moment and she's just crying because she wants her way) head downstairs and tell Isabella to make her way down for breakfast when she's done with her tears.
A few minutes later she comes down, tears still in her eyes and a very red face. She sits down on the couch and I tell her she needs to get dressed because there's breakfast to have and then she must get ready for the bus. Almost before I'm done telling her this, she breaks down again. I go over to her, bring her onto my lap and say "honey, what is this? Tell me what's going on! This isn't about the dress, is it?"
Isabella, mustering up enough strength to tell me, says "I just want my dad..."
Ugh. My heart drops.
"Did you have a bad dream again?" (There have been a few in the last month... always the same thing.)
She nods and then says, "Dad and I were shopping, and he left me."
Oh my heart...
"Love, Daddy would never leave you. He didn't leave you. He left our home. He just isn't living here anymore. He loves you SO much. He didn't leave you."
I, of course, am crying now...
"I know it's hard, honey... but we need to get out of bed. We need to get dressed and go to school and do all the things we always did. We're sad, and that's okay but we still need to do all those things. We can't just be sad all the time."
Michael, at this point, has come over and is standing near. He comes closer, puts his arm around his little sister and kisses her cheek... and then he says, "Isabella, we just have to keep moving forward."
Oh my... the wisdom that comes from the mouth of this 8 year old boy. He amazes me. He's Michael the lionheart... strong as a warrior but his heart is so sweet. I love that boy.
Isabella looks at me now and says, "I love you mama... what's for breakfast?"
The tears are gone. The dream is forgotten, for now.

Oh Lord, bless these lovely children. Protect their hearts, minds and bodies. May they know Your presence daily and learn to lean on You in their times of need.

a heart to worship...

I had an opportunity to sing and play piano at a Catholic/Italian funeral today. You might say, "an opportunity!?" but trust me, this was something so unexpected and lovely. I got a call from a lady who sings in a group I used to sing in. She took my place, actually, and while I know this woman, I don't know this woman. The funeral was this morning at 11 so Barbara Ann came over at 9 to run over some songs. I have not played or sang publicly since August so I was feeling quite rusty! But, as I sat at my piano and lifted my fingers to the keys, I had such anticipation... God would come. Oh, I longed for God to come... "Holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, who was and IS and IS to come... " I get that sensation in my heart... that feeling that something is coming over me... please, God... "Ever so gently, Your spirit calls to all who hear... Ever so gently, the sound of Your voice, quiet yet clear..." Oh, and it's on me... I feel the presence of God so very much. In this church I've never been in, with these people I've never met... worshiping with another who's heart is so very tender and open to God. I felt home. Oh and it's been SO long since I have felt it... so long since I felt the touch of God come on me as I worship. God, you have blessed me and have spoken truth to me this day. I was made to worship you and I will worship you in spite of my circumstance... YOU are Lord and You know the path I'm on. Lead me, Lord... strengthen me... bring me to You... let me find You in the midst of the uncertainty and fear.

"At the foot of the Cross, where grace and mercy meet
You have shown me your love, through the death You bore for me
and You won my heart, yes You've won my heart
Now I can
Trade these ashes in for beauty, I'll wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of Mercy
I lay every burden down at the foot of the cross
At the foot of the cross where I am made complete
You have given me life through the death you bore for me...
and You won my heart... yes You've won my heart... "

I am yours. There is no other.

gratitude day...

I'm a little late on the Gratitude Saturday so TODAY I am grateful!

I am thankful for spring... for being able to turn off the furnace and open the windows and have a breeze - fresh spring air - in my house.
I'm thankful for spring rain... I LOVE the smell of spring rain and the wet ground and the flowers and buds...
I'm thankful for loving children who are always telling me they love me and showing me in their little ways that they're glad I'm their mama.

Isabella came home from school today and said "Mama, did you miss me today?"
"Yes, love! I missed you!"
"Were you lonely without me?"
"A little, Isabella, but school is important."
She left me for a minute and came back with a piece of paper...
"This is for you, Mama..."
I opened it up and almost started crying. (Who am I kidding?? There were tears!)
"It's a picture of my heart... I want you to have it. I will love you for a thousand, hundred years. Don't be lonely, Mama, I'll never, ever leave you."
Gulp.
I love that heart!

I'm thankful for a heart of worship... even when I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of disappointment and hurt, I can open my heart to worship my God and feel His presence all around me.
I'm especially thankful for friends, whether new or old, who hold me in prayer and think of me during this trial. I SO appreciate the love and support and it's through your prayers and God's strength that I'm able to stand and not be shaken (too much!).

Psalm 5:11-12
11 But let all who take refuge in you rejoice;
let them sing joyful praises forever.
Spread your protection over them,
that all who love your name may be filled with joy.
12 For you bless the godly, O Lord;
you surround them with your shield of love.